My twelve-year-old daughter frequently moans that Ballycarrick is the most boring town in Ireland.
Nothing ever happens here.
And as the local police sergeant, this is something I'm delighted about.
I've enough to worry about-the polar ice-caps, the evil monster that's shrinking my trousers, not to mention the hot flushes-without having to be like one of those gritty Netflix cops, chasing criminals down alleyways and busting drug deals.
So, life is calm and fairly predictable.
Until something unthinkable happens in our sleepy backwater.
A crime, but not like anything I've ever seen before.